because I'm a week behind

Name: "Freaking" Blake Reynolds

How we Met: Castilleja Hall

Fun Fact: beats everyone at everything (Most of the time)

Freaking Blake. Yet another one of the guys I feel are like a brother (Though I can say that about most of my guy friends here) Blake can usually be found with Kyle, or his girlfriend Kelsey. He's always got a light-hearted, teasing comment to make me chuckle and I also want to thank him for helping me with a priesthood blessing this week and for helping Trevin with his. Thank you Blake for always helping to give me a smile.

OOps!

Forgot about this! This weeks Spotlight is on Benji Buell.

How we met?: Met Benji through night games.

Fun Fact: King of the Board Games. If there is a board game it's almost certain Benji will have it

Benji is a fantastic, funny person and is well known for blowing everything up on Minecraft once he gets bored. He is one of the many examples of diligence in scripture study and a great spiritual inspiration. I want to thank him for assisting in giving me two different priesthood blessings this week to help me with my struggles and for always having some comment or joke to help bring a smile to my face everyday. Thanks Benji. :)

Change

It finally happened. I've finally been critiqued. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN SINCE THAT HAPPENED!?! I'M SO EXCITED! Anyway, somethings are going to be changing on the blog. Mostly as an experiment. Instead of being a place for me to vent I'm going to try something new. each week I'm going to pick a person and do a bit of a spotlight on them just for fun to remind me of what I HAVE instead of what I've lost because to be blunt I've been a downer so I'm going to try to fix that in hopes it might do something to at least tone down my depression. So starting this weekend I'm going to do my best to shift my focus. I can't promise I'll be 100% more happy but I can say i'll be giving it 150% of my effort.

Counseling discoveries (so far)

1. I may have PTS caused by abandonment issues
2. My nightmares could be a result of #1 or just social anxiety
3. I'm perhaps TOO kind-hearted to the point where I won't stand up for myself
4. I may be clingy because of #1 or #5
5. I'm willing to hang on to a dying relationship/consent to "Non-committal" (in their opinion) cuddling and/or kissing because I am desperate to be loved due to "possible" lack of it from influential male figures in my life, namely my father.
6. I'm overly sensitive BUT unwilling to display emotions to other people and cover it with fake/nervous laughter
7. I spend so much time alone because I'm afraid of losing people
8. I'm scared of losing people due to past history (Divorces, Breakups, lost friends etc.)
9. I'm afraid to get married because of my family's history of divorce.
10. I'm a glutton for punishment (Emotional or otherwise) because I feel I deserve it or expect it
11. I'm quick to develop strong feelings in a relationship because #5
12. My pessimism could be due to either depression or #1.

Help...

I don't think anything hurts worse than knowing that someone you care about is going through the same pain as you are. It's times like these I would do anything to take that pain away for them. I would rather have the hurt tenfold then see someone else have to go through it, but sometimes the most beautiful things in life come when you feel broken and empty. You tend to appreciate things more after a while, love more fully, try that much harder...I try my best to be there to support whomever I can to the best of my abilities but sometimes there is nothing anyone can do and I hate that. I hate seeing people suffer in one form or other and not be able to do anything to make things better. I can only hope that they know that they are, and always will be, loved and that if they ever need anything, or if there is anything I can do, I hope they never hesitate to ask. I want to do all I can to help; to make their day even a little bit brighter. This goes to anyone and everyone who will accept my help. I know I can't take the pain away, but I would like too, even just for a moment, make them forget that they are hurting like they have done for me.

:/

It's only Monday and I'm already doing a fantastic job of pissing people I care about off...