Learn New Things Everyday

Here's a quick list of things I learned today:

1. Why I try to stay out of politics: It gets me too angry, and I hate being angry
2. I should NOT think about politics at night: I'll get too riled up and not be able to sleep
3. Why love is so hard to explain/ considered illogical: it's inconsistent.There are so many types and levels and everyone has to decide for his or herself what it is.

There are the top three things I learned today. TA DA!

Well, That Happened

The other night I stayed at my Grandparents' house and my Grandma, out of nowhere asks. "So is Trevin coming to the family reunion?" I was a bit surprised there have only ever been two other people not in the family to be invited to a reunion; My friend Mackenzie who lived next door, and my cousin's fiance. I would love it if he came, but only if he wanted to, but I'm nervous at the same time. I really want my family to like him, especially my parents. I know everyone wants to meet him. We will see how it plays out.

More Pressure / self-doubt

So, all of a sudden everyone is pushing me to serve a mission after I explained that I am not planning to.  And of course they all assume it's because of a boy.  Look I've prayed about this and I don't feel like that is a good idea for me.  It doesn't feel right but no matter how many times I say this oh, that's Satan trying to discourage you. Thanks guys, way to encourage the whole "do what you feel is right" thing you've been talking about since I was 8. And for extra measure all week this week I got to listen to the morning shift manager talk about how people who self-harm or used to self-harm are bad people and therefore can't and/or shouldn't be loved. For those who don't know there was a time when I was one of those people so I've been in this constant cycle of agreeing with her and disagreeing with her. I don't know what to think anymore.  Up until now everything was perfect.  I was happy,  and felt loved and cared for,  now I'm in a swap every other minute between happy and depressed again. I just don't know what to do.

interesting experience

Nothing beats that calming feeling you get when you are reminded that someone loves you. After a hellish hour at work where every costumer I talked to seemed to be taking their bad mood out on me I stepped into the bathroom to have a good cry and while I was there I was able to step back and remember that someone very special to me loved me and I could have sworn that for a moment that person was there hugging me, telling me it would be alright. It could have just been my imagination but whatever it was it got me through the rest of the shift and I am very grateful. It's amazing how much those three words can do when they come from the right person.

Who I Am/ Under Pressure

One thing I can't stand is when people try to force a personality on me. Ever since I got home two days ago my older brother has been trying to tell me who I am. "Oh you're a country girl" or "Oh you're a Redneck" No, I'm not! Why do you think I hate country so much. Everyone has been forcing it on me just because everyone else in this town likes it. I'm not a country girl I'm not a Redneck. Sure I like Do-it-yourself projects and horse riding and all that jazz but that doesn't mean everything. Let me be who I am not who you THINK I am. Leave the personality classifying to the people who actually know me. And another thing; just because I went to college does not mean that I'm engaged or am going to get engaged anytime soon. Would I like to? Sure that'd be great. Am I in any hurry? NO! so stop pressuring me about it. I'm well aware that everyone else in town my age is getting engaged already and whatever but I'll get engaged when I get engaged so just chill okay? Every time I turn around someone is asking when I'm going to get engaged and all that. It will happen whenever God wants it to happen and apparently that's not happening yet. Do I have someone in mind? well...yeah but I've made my interest clear. I'm not going to badger him about it like everyone is insisting that I do. Who knows maybe we'll talk about it when we feel ready but I'm happy with the way things are right now I'm already so blessed just having him in my life, I'm letting God handle it from here, He helped me get this far, if it's meant to work out he'll help it the rest of the way too.