More Pressure / self-doubt

So, all of a sudden everyone is pushing me to serve a mission after I explained that I am not planning to.  And of course they all assume it's because of a boy.  Look I've prayed about this and I don't feel like that is a good idea for me.  It doesn't feel right but no matter how many times I say this oh, that's Satan trying to discourage you. Thanks guys, way to encourage the whole "do what you feel is right" thing you've been talking about since I was 8. And for extra measure all week this week I got to listen to the morning shift manager talk about how people who self-harm or used to self-harm are bad people and therefore can't and/or shouldn't be loved. For those who don't know there was a time when I was one of those people so I've been in this constant cycle of agreeing with her and disagreeing with her. I don't know what to think anymore.  Up until now everything was perfect.  I was happy,  and felt loved and cared for,  now I'm in a swap every other minute between happy and depressed again. I just don't know what to do.