More frustration.

I hate my subconsciousness. It's so contradictory.  Everything I want to believe in the end is shot down.  Like being loved. I have to be constantly reminded because deep down I don't believe I can be loved, at least in the romantic sense. I'm not the kind of girl boys fall in love with.  I'm the kind of girl that guys crush on, date,  then leave behind when they get bored with me. I want to not believe this but in the end it pulls itself back up. I'm annoying,  I know I am.  I'm annoying and clingy, and needy and I want to stop but no matter how hard I try nothing changes.  I'm tired of feeling alone for no reason.  I know I'm loved, I know I'm not alone but deep down part of me doesn't believe that and I hate it.  I just don't know how to change it...it's part of who I am and I'm worried that I won't find anyone who will accept that part of me.