Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder if I'm worth putting up with. I'm impulsive, impatient, stubborn, my depression is all over the place, I can't keep  anything to myself and because of it I'm constantly causing problems for myself and people close to me. I'm too proud for my own good and have a hard time accepting or asking for help especially when I know I need it. Sometimes I think it best if I just stayed alone with just myself for company even though I know that just makes it worse. I have impossibly high expectations for myself but I can't seem to get rid of them. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a box and no matter what I do I can't get out or find space to move. Other times it's like the world is just sitting there waiting for me to grab it. I guess that's normal but, I don't know what to do any more. Everyone keeps asking what my plans are. I used to have a plan, I had everything figured out I knew what I wanted to do and how I could make it happen. I could honestly say that I was worth it  and then something happened, I'm not sure what but now all of a sudden I have no idea what I'm doing, or where I'm going and started wondering if I ever really knew, if I was actually worth it. Sometimes I just want to run away from everyone and everything and not come back. I know what I want, but I don't know if I can make it  happen or if it'll be worth it in the end. I'm lost and can't remember how to find myself again.