Welcome to Week "I'm Fine"

This week is just eating me alive. First the blackout then the next day I go to the job of pain after going to the ER then Trevin breaks up with me then today, I almost black out at work, messed up again and again ,got a table mad at me, got crappy tips (which is basically where any money I earn comes from) ,I'm in physical pain all over my body (not from work) I spill things on customers, drop their food, mess up orders, make double orders, make an idiot of myself (A common occurrence, really) not to mention all my plans for new years eve were taken. Then morning shift telling me that my shift didn't do anything (also typical). Then my loan STILL not going through. I've yet to have one night this week that I don't cry myself to sleep. It's just to much for me to cope within the duration of three days. Kinda shoots Christmas out of the sky doesn't it? And what do I say when asked if I'm okay? "I'm Fine" Automatic answer. It just comes out. I want to say "No, my emotions are falling apart inside me and I don't know how to put  myself together again" There is nothing I can pinpoint as to it all it just all the things keep piling up making each other thing worse than it already was. I'm just so upset, and stressed, and frustrated, and feel very much alone that it's just overwhelming my emotions and I don't know how to turn them off again.